Advertising Bedtime Stories

Not that I have a lot of time to sit and mull these types of things over, but have you ever posed this question: What would be the hardest product, service, or, for lack of a better term, "thing" to advertise?

A political entity? A war? A religion? A country? An unpopular cause? A lawyer? What about the advertising industry itself?

All seemingly tough, but all of the above have been successfully cut and rendered by the wizards of Madison Avenue (more details on that in another blog at another time).

I submit to you, dear reader, that the seemingly "easy sells" are the most difficult. I'm talking about the basics. The things of everyday life. Soap, toothpaste, bread, beer, water, clothing, and the like.

Difficult how? Because of consumers’ indifference to products that are all too common and all too commonly used. Difficult because of the sheer volume and variety of those products. Difficult because even a tenth of a tenth of a point of market share could make or break a company or manufacturer. And each of those "tenths of a tenths" of gain will come at a cost, that on paper, might not appear to be such a wise return on the investment.

So with that advertising horror story set in place, here are the bedtime stories that big ad execs tell their little junior advertising execs as they tuck them into their desks before those long all nighters...

To be fair, they're not really stories as much as they are headlines or slogans attached to some of the most successful (or famous) campaigns for all types of products. Proving, once again, that simple is not only better, it's memorable.

In no particular order, my top 25½ advertising headlines or slogans of all time:

The milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

Tastes great. Less filling. / Everything you always wanted in a beer and less.

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.

Coke adds life.

Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

The Uncola.

Try it, you'll like it.

When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

Drivers wanted.

Reach out and touch someone.

The quicker thicker picker-upper.

We try harder.

The ultimate driving machine.

Let your fingers do the walking.

Just do it.

Don't leave home without it.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't.

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Please don't squeeze the Charmin!

M'm! M'm! Good!

Betcha can't eat just one.

Nothing runs like a Deere.

Think small.

Think different.

Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the media buyers bite.
Gary LoBue Jr / Art Director / The Russo Group